13 Etiquette Tips for Republicans at the bipartisan Baker party tonight

(A little fun about a very funny situation tonight!)Charlie Baker’s victory party tonight is going to be something we Republican activists haven’t experienced: a bipartisan affair! He has so many strong Democrat and unenrolled supporters who will be there tonight that I have decided to publish some helpful tips on etiquette so we don’t unnecessarily upset our new friends:

 

  1. Do not bring your guns into into the Seaport Hotel. (Lock them in the mobile weapons depot that has been set up in the garage.)
  2. I wouldn’t bring it up if you voted for Mark Fisher in the primary.
  3. Don’t do a victory dance when it is announced that Scott Walker has been re-elected as governor of Wisconsin.
  4. If you must criticize Maura Healey, say she wasn’t much of a three-point shooter.
  5. We can’t return to bashing The Boston Globe until after the race is called.
  6. If you came up with snarky voter classification tags for non-Republicans in Pinpoint, keep those to yourself tonight, OK?
  7. If asked, you didn’t know the MassGOP even had a party platform.
  8. Remember that crazy story Charlie Baker told you back in the 2010 campaign? You don’t remember it anymore.
  9. After several drinks, that hot Democrat is going to look very appealing, but she’s just not that into you.
  10. There is no need to speculate on the immigration status of the hotel staff.
  11. No, Baker’s victory was not “God’s will.”
  12. In casual conversation, nothing is “just like Benghazi!”
  13. Rule of thumb: Unless you have previously kissed the woman you’re talking to, don’t call her “sweetheart.”

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