Breaking News: Massachusetts MORE Conservative Assembly is Born

Blue Hills Reservation (In Duck Blind), December 12, 2012 : A group of Massachusetts ultra conservatives, fed-up with the lack of success of MARA, The Tea Party, and the Massachusetts Conservative Assembly, have launched the Massachusetts More Conservative Assembly.

Shortly after the birth of the Massachusetts Conservative Assembly, an even smaller group of true conservatives attended a meeting in the woods of the Blue Hills Reservation. We decided there that we could no longer stomach the weak conservatism of other conservative groups. If MARA is the “Republican wing of the Republican party” and MCA is the conservative wing of the Republican party, then the Massachusetts More Conservative Assembly is the Conservative Wing of the Republican Wing of the Republican party.

Unlike other groups that pretend to be True Conservatives, we have a more conservative philosophy and a clear plan. First, our philosophy:

Faith in the Articles of Confederation, not the Constitution

Where the Tea Party and others have gone astray is in fealty to the U.S. Constitution. This flawed document is the foundation of our current socialist system. It granted far too much power to our central government. It not only did not enshrine the duty to bear arms in the main document, it was only the second in a group of amendments! It is riddled with other flaws that the crypto-statist mindset of the Tea Partiers cannot even see! Your precious constitution won’t even let us abolish the goddam post office!

It is only the belief in the restoration of the Articles of Confederation that anchors the True Conservative mind. It is only that position where no one can be more conservative than you. (Yes, some have pointed out that you could be even more conservative and go futher back to the colonial compacts that existed prior to that, guaranteeing even more state autonomy, but the British government is no longer ready or willing to be the distant corporate sponsor of those contracts, so this is not feasible at this time.)


Unlike other false conservative groups, we have a concrete plan of action.

1. Intentional Irrelevancy

We are living in a communist state of government, and any participation by true patriots merely disguises the Bolhsevik nature of Beacon Hill. We must give the Democrat Communists control of every institution in this state.  We must allow the Leninist revolution to reach its full fruition, then make the Democrats own it. Only then will the people see the magnitude of their error and launch a counter-revolution. Therefore, the correct number of Republican seats in the legislature is zero! Republicans in office are merely an anesthetic for the pain to come and we cannot have that. We must work to make sure every Republican is cast out of office for their participation in the Communist scheme.

2. Make Massachusetts Bigger

Massachusetts, in the glory of the 1700s was once a far bigger and more dangerous wilderness, including what today would be Maine. We must restore these traditional borders in order to include more patriots! (Yes, we would technically have to incorporate Rhode Island also, but we would probably just put those people on ships to Venezuela where they belong, and use the land as a prison colony for the counter-revolutionary period.)

3. Hunt the RINO Hunters

Let’s face it: The Democrats have become the Communists. The Republicans have become the Socialists. MARA, MCA, and the Tea Party have become the Democrats. Only we are capable of being the real Republicans in the counter-revolution to come.

Nothing is more threatening or embarrassing than the actions of those who believe they are TRUE CONSERVATIVES but are really unknowing participants in the communist ascendancy. The Tea Party has accomplished nothing but to alert the Bolsheviks of the coming counter-revolution, yet they are no closer to achieving it. They and MARA have decided to openly join the traitorous State Committee! Fools! You are merely 80 poodles on the leashes of a multiple-dog-walker who is the slave of the Romney-Brown-Maginn machine. Your participation in this corrupt organization is evidence that you are unworthy of being called a True Conservative.

We will provide the oversight of the MCA and MARA that is so desperately needed. We will bring them to our rural re-education camp in the Blue Hills Reservation and tell them that it is the year zero, and that they must cleanse their souls of their secret longings for the benefits of government programs, the oversight of the United Nations, and citizenship in the coming Muslim Caliphate.

4. Our Own Think Tank

The name “Pioneer Institute” was already taken, regrettably, and it is unfortunate as none of those people in their fancy downtown offices even wears a fur hat like we do. So we have adopted a different name: “The Indentured Servant.” It is both a reminder of economic opportunity but an acknowledgement that even thinking must be accountable to ACTION.  This group will reach out to all races, creeds, and genders (maybe not all genders) and inform them that we must return to the way of life we had in the 1780s. People of all backgrounds will see that in the 18th century, their lives would have been so much simpler, and all of the angst and depression about what to do with their lives will no longer be there.

This is who we are and what we stand for. Only we are the True Conservatives in this state. Only we refuse to participate in the communist revolution unfolding all around us. Only we are uncorrupted by our total lack of participation in the Republican party. All other conservatives are merely pretenders.

So if you are a real patriot, change your party registration to our party, grab a fur hat, several days of food and a few rolls of toilet paper, and come join us in the Blue Hills and prepare for the coming counter-revolution!

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