Wonkette has provided us with the following drinking game rules:
When you see or hear the thing before the hyphen, do the thing after the hyphen.
* “Nobody ever said this would be easy.” – Four shots and then balance the budget.
* Nancy Pelosi wearing a weird suit that looks like she stole it from a sex slave on Mars – One shot.
* Obama points out an invited guest of the First Lady in the fancy box seats, and that guest is a Martian sex slave – One shot, and then have sex with the person in the room who looks the most like Nancy Pelosi.
* “Haiti.” – Find a bottle of rum at the back of your liquor cabinet and donate it to the Red Cross.
* USAjobs.gov – Fuck the nearest robot.
* “Green energy.” – One shot of flaming absinthe.
* “Saved or created.” – Dig a crushed beer can out of your recycling bin and drink whatever’s left in it.
* “Bailing out the auto industry” – Drink a shot of motor oil and jump off a cliff.
* Joe Wilson shouts something – Do nothing because it will only encourage him.
* Wall Street/Main Street juxtaposed – Drink a shot of 20-year single malt, then drink a can of Budweiser, then go bankrupt.
* “I will not raise taxes on the middle class.” – Drink an overoaked glass of chardonnay and listen to “Come Away with Me” while weeping over your most recent 401(k) statement.
* “That’s a promise that I intend to keep.” – Punch your nearest loved one in the crotch, apologize, and do it again.
* Obama vows to pass healthcare reform before the 2010 midterms – Drink a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
* “Ted Kennedy” or “Senator Kennedy’s legacy” – Chug a Guinness, don a clamshell bra and an Uncle Sam hat, and tap-dance on the grave of your choice while backwards-faxing tea bags to Martha Coakley.
* Obama exits to “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” – Pass out on your stoop with your pants around your ankles.